“I think I found you another one,”
I said, watching him watching my attempts at a clever demeanor. He was standing outside the tent now, gazing from
me back out to where the first of the many revelers had begun to push past the
far of the entry gates - long lines of machines and bodies that seemed as oiled
snakes growing fast along the muddled hardpan.
I turned to him then, felt as if I had always been amongst this place of
dust, the flat, the lands where the dry heat swirled around, the whisper of a
woman now on the edge of my mind as gigantic swirls began to billow at the base
of the far mountains. He responded to my
nearing with the Observation Tune, doing his best to capture the moment, the
deep flavors of the place. He sung softly,
loudly for me, it was true, but sang too for the sage grass, the mountains, some
needles; the endless vistas all around.
It was a song that sometimes
sounded as if it had harsh words, but more often left a large vibrato in the thin
air as it passed. I joined with him as
long as I could, treading around the outside of the beat, wavering only at the
end where all chords failed. We concluded
with a clap: the sun set along with our conclusion.
“She’s tall, seems similar to me in
stature. Lithe. She will be here quite soon, I promise.”
“Ah, just my type then!” he said, grinning to himself, looking out now
to where the desert folks were starting their campfires.
I considered for a moment before a
new hum could stop me, wondering for a moment to myself: I had seen a girl
growing at the edges of my dreams over the last two nights, certain now that I
could find her hum or sway in the menagerie below. Some people would find such folks for money,
or prestige, yet others forgot the drive of the hunt still lives large in some
breasts, the inner Amazonians still waiting to burst forth. I enjoyed this part immensely, though it
didn’t seem to bring Jacob any satisfaction.
He just blinked repeatedly in the
dying light.
“It’s going to be good tomorrow. All of this will matter,” he said, turning
back to the bench, to his work which to the outsider remained as a large array
of blankets and lights we had strewn about the place throughout the day. It seemed like an architect’s imagining of a
yurt, of a desk, or a small village springing as if by magic from the
desert. Yet it was in the exact center
of the plain, seeming for all reasoning like some form of Azteca. The bands onstage began to mic-check, begun
in earnest to throb or wail, each sounding exactly like the next. The rest of the festival continued its setup,
one of a hundred thousand around the globe that endlessly went on each year,
all seeming doing their best to recapture Woodstock in some form.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Later I sat worried that he might
have picked up on the edges of my thinking, yet he didn’t seem to respond. He merely continued his studies, his
practices - the pretend incantations that only served as a preparation for the
real thing later on. I tried not to
smile at him as he grunted or plotted, strutting about to and fro while adjusting
the cords that stood at marked angles.
Someone, something else that of importance was surly coming soon I
thought, or he wouldn’t be fidgeting so.
I looked again for the woman on the edge of things, yet felt
nothing.
For now.
“Some of the rest of the Governor’s
people will be arriving in the morning,” he said as if reading my mind,
continuing along with the charade for a bit.
Je seemed pleased at this new news, in a way. “I think they will want us to join them for a
while. Will you be ready to perform by
then?”
“Always!” I said, pumping my fist in the air. How he had always managed to get into the up
and up was beyond me. He had a way with
finding such strange places, establishing delicately intricate schemes that built
layer upon layer as glass cards would.
They were stunning setups of exquisite multitude or color that would be
dazzling if they weren’t cheap theatre. Beside
me more he lifted the needles in supple preparation, tilted some of many the
vials to his eye.
“For you, always love.” I said, trying my best to snuggle close. Worry had found me this eve with a new twang,
yet I did not yet question his intent. I
still had to be patient – soon. Ever so
soon.
In response I gazed out, thinking I
could just see the dust forming as clouds now at the base of the near
mountains, monstrous shapes that might soon take form. I looked too for the woman for a little while
that day, yet received only a flash of thin white, nimbus growing round the
edges. I sighed.
“It’ll be wonderful; I’ll be ready. Of course.
Anything.” Jacob was saying, ignoring me for a second, and in that
moment I truly loved him yet again.
There was orange in his words as he spoke mixed in with the hallucinogenic
purple, but amongst all was a man who knew himself, and had a plan.
Below, the festival goers now used
drones to film themselves and us from above, casting real-time images of nudity
on screens being raised all around - they would be howling soon enough, lost in
the excess of drinking, merriment. There
was madness here amongst the heat, sure, the little motes that slid across the
landscape bringing with them unnamable disease, temptation, nothing thick
enough that would slow ambition. Yet
there was beauty here too, and now something greater; though it would mostly be
Jacob in the end, we were going to do great things while the sun, while the day
still lasted.
The drugs did a number to blunt the
pain gathering in this place, temper the large bits of insanity swirling round
out there, but it could not deny the natural aroma of something else building
on the horizon. Something stronger.
I glanced again to the base of the
mountains – yes, there were figures there, most certainly growing.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
We had met at a funeral just the
year before. His cousin Jimmy had died
from some misfortune or another, being close friends with one of the ladies I
knew - those who enjoyed going just as deep into any near pools or minds would
allow. It had been with shock to meet
someone else had looked so much like the kid in the casket, and a greater
surprise to greet someone with a flicker on the same wavelength as myself. I had known madness, had been doing my best
to temper my delusions until that time, yet there was a spark in the dark that
was ready to fully ignite. In such
nights, we burned.
From there we went to any such
event that we could. Often, it was at my
urging, though sometimes chance found us in weird locales. Car crashes became one of our specialties - the
budding pain and confusion of such scenes making ample breeding ground for the
plans we were continuing to form. Sometimes
it was a funeral of those we even knew, or helping to look for children that
got lost in the woods.
Once, Jacob had even gotten us
seats to an execution. How he had
managed that particular affair was still beyond me, but they say that those
with charm can weedle into just about anything.
It was an exquisite setting throughout that entire evening, and for days
afterwards we could only lie around the flat recalling the unearthly chatter of
that particular carnival again and again.
Reliving the moment repeatedly, ecstatic.
And now this. of course, there was
always an event like this, somewhere out in the world.
“There is something here, something
that might be better than anything we’ve yet seen” he was saying now, trying to
suppress his giddiness, the utter eagerness of his tones. He was trying his hand at the Calming Song
then by which to better pull me back to myself, or turn the conversation round. I couldn’t help but glance to the foothills
where it was clear that some form of man-shapes were beginning to emerge, large
shades all of faces and limbs with stern eyes that had begun to wander. Though Jacob did not yet realize it, his
fingers had begun tapping in some strange rhythm, his mind and breath humming
along to the same tempo – something that was occasionally a tad off key.
“I think we could be in real
trouble, without this one though. It is
good you felt her when you did.” His
eyes had bulged, shaken as the soft veins finally started to give way to the
poison that sought to swallow him whole, before I was back to the current day,
back to the event at hand.
I took him into the further recesses
of tent, attempting to release any worries or passions that had been building
inside, ever thinking about that other woman that had been growing clearer in
my mind throughout day. He ignored my
subtle movements after a while, shifting again and again to glance at the
charts he had brought, or else gazing from time to time out past the front
flaps. The wealthy enclaves we had set
up stood off to the one side, looking pristine as they usually did, yet still
he did not see the titanic shapes of men growing on the horizon.
In this landscape, there really was
true freedom then.
(Something continued though, to
grow)
-------------------------------------------------------------------
“What if we go away for a bit – to
Argentina, or Thailand?” I tried him on
the second night, doing my best to belay any worries. He still had not found a setup or arrangement
that he liked, and I was growing nervous.
The Governors’ ball had been a ploy, that was clear to me now. Tools and the tools of tools now filled the
tent, the scent of grease becoming ever stronger. I was glad we had brought the van along
though, as I had been seeing white again on the edges of my dreams. Around us, the bodies continued to pile up at
the end of each day, some deeply reddened, some far worse. The Sun Worshipers continued on though,
oblivious.
“In time, we’ll have to move babe,
sure. Yet for now, nobody suspects.” He continued to talk as he worked, did not
hint where he went at the midnight hour.
I was beginning to suspect he didn’t suspect the things that where tittering
at the edges of the world, not glancing to the windows nearly as much as I.
In time, I figured he would learn.
“Besides, you still owe me your
gift. It doesn’t have to be a large
thing.” I tried to ignore him, his
pointless statements, thinking back.
Our real eye opener was just last
year, when we had stopped at the German Autobahn, where one of speed demons
from all walks of life go to graze, and occasionally one has their head sheered
off by loose flying metal. We had likely
lingered too long at that scene, as there were suddenly German cops, German
spies, several paramilitary guys that had started to quickly show up in some
form, circling overhead. Something about
the energy had changed dearly that day, causing Jacob to go a bit deeper than
he had before. He hadn’t slept a wink
that night, and next month we were here.
“What about after this? Once this is all over, if we find a boat or
something, just sail for a while.”
“We can afford that?” I could see the answer in his eyes before his
lips could find the meaning, a thicker song preparing itself just behind his
lips. He glanced again beyond the tent
flaps to where the revelers each seemed to have their own personal campfire, a
thin series of flames that lit up the edges of the night sky. He was stuck deep
on some cruel thought or another, watching as the debutants continued to arrive
with the lightings, each to set up shop in their own glamps beside us. He saw me, truly saw me as I was at that
moment with a wink, with a nod, I somehow knowing that moment he was soon to be
the hard type, the hurting kind; maybe even the killing type soon if I couldn’t
reach him. We were a solid part of the
body politic now, seeming to ride along with the wind.
“I’m sure the Governor can work
something out. Besides, in another two
days they will combine those pinpoints to light up the temple, at which point
all hearts go up. It will truly be a
magical time, wont it, and we will be right in the thick of it!” he exclaimed, quivering in mild anticipation,
seeming to ignore my first thoughts.
“Let us just go down and dance for a bit. See if we can find you a distraction. It’ll do you some good, I bet to get
away. To embrace the flow.” I played
with the glowing bleeps and the bloops and the bloorps that made up the finest
of screens in front of me, touching his arms, coursing through his tomes,
relishing the way even the soften push caused the inks within to temporarily
run wild, and blemish caused these things to turn. He turned to me then, tired, but in need of
further distraction.
“Sounds lovely.” He said.
In time we threaded our way down, becoming inconspicuous with others
arrayed just like us. The sun was tepid
at daybreak, and the crazies and the freaks did what they thought could save
themselves. The hippies continued to
dance, to hurt.
Still, we had to be careful in
those moments, as more checkpoints existed more than ever before. Somewhere soon, likely, an algorithm, a
computer, maybe even a simple would find us out, would finally put the
patternings together. Someone was always
watching. Why Jacob had waited this long
to come out here, or if it was his trump card for such things I would never
know. I had befriended several of the
local groups in the meantime just in case, the self proclaimed tribes while he
was busy singing the Sundown Songs, or else pretending seduction.
On the fringes, the Deities
continued to manifest, for Godheads I saw they now might soon be.
I did my best to keep my eye out
for the Lady in White. Did my best to
stay away as long as I could.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
She was out here in the crowd! The heat, the fires were going to go up that
night, yet all I could think of was the body I had found.
There had been six deaths that day,
most being attributed to heat stroke. It
was hot enough too so that the Governors’ people had started to take notice
between our bouts of singings, between the occasional chatter of the more
animated groups. I had gone out for some
carefree wandering at noon, leaving Jacob and the rest of the group to plot and
plan. It was delightful that the taller
of the crowd members sometimes took notice of my shape, my form, singing as I
had often started to do, some around us starting to learn some of the melodies. Then in a blur she passed in front of me so
quick I had to question what I saw, a falter to the words growing round, a
failing to the harmonies being created.
The revelers broke then, regrouped, chanting to themselves again and
again as the noontime neared. I held my
side, disbelieving at what I felt, looking everywhere at once.
“Do you care to dance?” the girl said, squatting close. She was near, far to near at hand for such
worries I now felt.
“Yes?” I asked, for a moment I wasn’t sure at the
question. I had been looking too deep
inside, had been listening to any other sounds other than her approach. For a moment, I winced, and she winced along
with me. She was delightfully charming,
throwing me off my guard – I suspected she might begin to suspect.
“The rest of the camp has been
talking about you. They say you and your
partner are real wizards at of the day.
Of the beats. Of dance.” She took my hand before I could yet ask more.
“They also say you make some lovely
trinkets.”
“Yes, we do what we can..” She stood there for a long time, ignoring my
nakedness, letting the quiet power of her form radiate outwards and down. A smile had somehow crept over her, making
the touch of our hands vibrate even more, greater still.
I wondered for a moment if we had a
scent, or a basilisk smell..
“Can you show me how?” she asked, somehow taking me by the ring
finger. I could see a collection of bracelets
there, of amulets, letting her take me out beyond the fire light. There was hurt their too, it was true, but
passion, the small scars that crossed below were hidden to all but of the most
cunning eye.
She lifted me then, to a place I
had not known. I felt the fabric of her
dress brush against my knees, heard the soft whisper of opened energy gathering
round. The heat rolled out, down then
toward us, yet never seemed to touch my heart.
That organ beat as a still drum, cold to the touch, shifting in
celestial splendor. Posing, striking –
being beautiful with herself, her whole self, even her mind. The girl, I mean. It was the only thing that could keep
me. Keep us. For a while I lost myself.
The rest of the women were now
swirling round, continuing their shouts against a larger world. It would have been cute had they not been
dressed in only rags, holding on to all that is alive with sheer will power
alone.
Even the tall men on the horizon
had bent to that beat, the flow – us.
Dancing, dancing, if ever to keep the beat.
In that minute, I knew I couldn’t
do it. I couldn’t do anything really, I
wouldn’t, no part of me would lift a finger to even the smallest hair on her
chin.
Yes, an entire life of the dance,
the party, the subtle release of serotonin between circadian, I guess it had
taken both of us. She moved, I
responded, and in time we collapsed backwards on our butts in the sand,
laughing mightily.
“You do that pretty good for a
northern gal,” she said.
“I…” I didn’t have the words. Oh, how hard it was not to take her, deliver
her as a gift to Jacob to put on whatever alter he desired to make for himself,
immediately! Yet something about the way
she sadly smiled tore at something within me.
Was there a reason I was feeling this?
I had fled, at first shocked,
rocked, vomiting up all the days wares and breakfast before I knew what to make
of myself, hearing the chords and keys all out of alignment, a sudden misstep! She had been beautiful to behold, more radiant
that those imaginings that had cluttered the back of the mind. She was also full of hurt I saw, and bore
some of the same markings as I did. I
had to get away, every fiber and ache of my being suddenly pleaded for
concealment. I had left her, and she
wasn’t even worried about the leaving.
For he could take her, make her,
break her with just a simple smile. Only
just a single look, and I knew it would be a collapse, a death most foul. Worse than that of endings.
And in all that madness, and the
yells and screams that followed, did I see her there? A soft shade, amongst all the dragons breath? There was a body amongst the pall, the
dancers, whiter than the rest that shifted just out of sight. I chased her how I could, fled how I could
Part of her, yes, now out there
wandering amongst the backdrop. Part of
my heart went out to her then, and always would.
----------------------------------------
Things were
slow for a while afterwards. That was
good, as it gave me my own time to make preparations. First was about the girl, then the land, then
the Deities themselves. I could see the
edges of her out there somewhere, of a white sarong, of satin just beneath the
slip. The growth of the monsters on the
horizon, getting ever nearer. She was amongst
the crowd now, the fire breathers, and if I focused all of my thoughts or
energy I just might be able to turn her back.
Turn her away from this place, or else myself. Her hips would be quite golden by now, the
first of the week’s sunburn just beginning to fade into a greater luster. There was a butterfly on one shoulder, I
could see that much. Though the Deities
could cloud much as they searched for us, they spared the innocent.
And now, we were out here again in
the desert.
I continued to think back upon the
long days that were beginning to be short.
Jacob had been so lovely for a time, though I suppose we all were and
could be.
In a flash, he
was now back in the tent! He’d also been
practicing new tunes I saw, something that was making my heart quiver.
“Where have you been?” I asked, trying my best to stroke his
chest. He relented only with
persistence, holding me back a step, perhaps for examination.
“Same as usual – trying to slip
into the inner reaches of the Governors’ trust.
What of you?” His words had a tin
quality to them, that seemed fractured at the edges. I tried to ignore him how I could Did he
suspect? He whistled while he worked,
looking only at the mirror as he passed me, didn’t even see or comprehend the
new me washing over. I swear I saw him wink at himself for a
moment, wanting to strike him with the back of the pan.
If we kept her under glass, her
hands would not grow course. Her organs
would fail in time it was true, but her memory, her mana would be just fine. The
desire to please Jacob was strong.
Would she be happy to be part of
the experiment? Be glad to be forever
young, twitching within our (his?) veins?
If I searched down, deep within myself, I could sometimes find the
voices that milled there. They could
sometimes form a mighty crowd, and I often wondered that if they could, would
they speak to each other? Would there
hands form, or cup, pull at the backside of each other skulls, until they could
touch foreheads.
What then, there, would they
see? The crowd that formed there was
often sad.
I did the
only refuge left available, and fled back, backward.
“I think we’ll have to go soon, Jac,”
I had given him my thoughts on this subject all the same.
“In time, we’ll have to move
babe. For now, nobody suspects.” Day by day, one by one I saw their gaze had
now started to shift to the tent. Till
today I thought it was for uplifting. They
had started to talk amongst themselves, would soon begin to point. The Deities in the hills began to stand, had
started to come nearer.
Long slow
breaths & the thuddings of the morning rituals quickly brought an acute
state of awareness around me, with her darker eyes beginning to open. The daily relations ritual (grooming?)
further brought her beauty up, to above he brow. My core tingled. Somehow I kept her, him, all of them at bay…or
else she was good at wandering.
How long had it been, since I had
felt this way? How long since I
suspected that something might be wrong?
Perhaps it had been when wrapped in the vulpine blankets three nights
back. The Woman in White was back again,
dancing along at the edges of my vision.
He neared her, me, both of us then. Part of me responded, before my eyes found
him. In a trance, in a moment he was
moved, shaken back to what he once was.
He waved his hand over his face, as if to dispel the illusion. Then he was there beside me, trying his best
to compose himself.
“We’ll go after tomorrow, I’m sure
something will change. Promise.” For a
moment, I was tempted to believe him. I was close to ukiyo, in my own way – I could
feel the drive, the lifting, coming on as much as the strong winds coming
round. The valley flowed through my hair,
into any crevasse of my being that still wished to ride the wind. It was time, for a change – time for the
snuffing, the removal of life; of watching?
The
gigantic stories of men remained on the fringes of the mountains, forever
looking down. Some of the wilder hippies
in their deeper delusions also caught glimpses of them, howling to themselves
and having to be removed on suspicions of dehydration.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
“There is something out there. I can hear it between the thunder claps. I don’t know what it means, but if we can’t
find it soon…well, I don’t know what we’ll do.”
I thought again of computers, of the near gargoyles or bright shapes of
sudden Deities frowns gazing down. Would
they begin to move, come over soon to visit, to catch us?
Jacob was thinking aloud now, still
obvious to the tall men there on the lower hills, in the dark. There was a droning there now, and a white
heat between his pulses that made me shiver.
He had decided to rechristen himself (as if that would help). He had gone around telling people his name
was Nick now, which was good, for it would remove suspicion for a little while
if we had to leave abruptly We had been hanging with the Governors’ wife for a
while too, watching her make spiked lemonade to go with the sweet tea.
This would be bad I considered, and
went to approach the other woman around us.
We were made of similar veins, of strange folds and caution against the
high winds. For a moment I even smelled
as they did, a secret smile going between the gaggle of us.
“Eh, we all need a place to run
to,” I was saying, hoping the shortest amongst them got the hint.
Jacob came over at that moment,
breaking the spell, doing his best to interject or be rude. In reply she gave me her mobile number,
looking serious. It that moment I
realized the difficulty of the situation .
Still, at the edges of the light
stood another shade, a woman of a woman growing within.
I had to help him from hurting
himself. I had to help myself. As much as I had tried to hide the white
woman with my mind or take him to the far corners of the camp, he had spotted her
there on the eighth day, had grown weak at a glance. She was soft at a distance, and I could at
once see at once he was smitten, would begin the asking the usual questions and
attempt the ritual soon. He had been
talking with the Governor’s niece, but now ignored her completely, letting his
eyes circle, circle.
I prepped myself for the danger
that might be to come, the nerves, yet feigned little interest as he continued
to talk, to blather, even as he methodically made his way over to her. This new person, Nick, was forever charming,
and as much as I tried to put my hate away, would somehow scheme in anyways at
these times. I couldn’t wait for his
mind to rot away on that same rotten gooseflesh. In my head, I had begun to hum.
Nick, the Jacob creature came over
then, seeming a bit confused, perplexed even.
“We shall certainly sleep for a
while, and maybe even we’ll be caught.
Oh, how magical it will be. And
that new woman – I think she may somehow be part of it” He was talking my same fears out loud, but it
seemed as nonsense. I wondered about this
for a while, thinking of the good times we had shared. Thinking too of how such fallow people really
had brought us together. In hindsight it
could be quite alarming, even as he gave it again to me now.
I thought too how this would be
ok. I would sneak off in the morning,
had made my plan well. She had gone, or
else had no idea of our tent. If I was
quick I could probably bribe the girl off the ranch, off the property, or drug
her if I needed to, nobody had to know. They
would catch Nick…Jacob the day after next, it was true, but wouldn’t need to interrogate
for long. I could blend, would fit in,
would be up in the mountains in less than a weeks time. I had made many friends of the nearby festival-goers. I had done all in my power to avoid the
girl, or thinking of her, or the many multitudes, but now was the time for
action.
I suddenly found myself losing
control.
If I didn’t act soon, he might
begin to sense it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I wanted to murder her, or else tease,
or bend, or do all the things that one woman could always do to another. It had been another tense night, with the Nick
J creature almost sneaking off in the dark.
I had sensed rather than felt him start to go, knew he would search tent
by tent for the girl if he had to, would spend all night doing it. I felt it, I honestly felt it curve in my
blood, little fractals spinning ever outwards.
I needed to beat her, to brain her, to feel every part of my strength
flow out and seize her. Though she
seemed as shades of white, the whole rest of the place reeked of a stinking
blood gulch of unwashed humanity reeling round, each doing their best to forget
their problems for a little while, and I was tempted to say so to him now.
I was on a bus, heading back to
town, yes, that was it. Or else I was
sometimes running as fast as my legs could take me to the edge of the butte, to
contemplate the leaping. I had also
somehow taken up refuge in one of the near tents, falling in line with one of
the many groups who had no name, holding some of them, caressing, telling any
lie that would get me far far away. They
were wordless as they passed around their corn chips, the beads, taking me in,
giving me a new name. Part of me broke
and twisted. I was happy, drifting far
away across the long miles, the plains. I
was fever and hate and fear all wrapped up in the good of leaving.
No, all of it was pretend. I was still back with Jacob, with Nick, with
whatever it was he was calling himself that day, still stuck somewhere on one
of the many blankets that had been slowly filling with sand. I got up then to relieve myself, thinking
these and other strange thoughts
“It’s Anna, right?” said a voice from far to close. It was the girl, squatting close. She was delightfully charming, throwing me
off my guard.
“I heard you might be up here. Might still be interested in a dance.” I felt something then, a deep whirring noise
that didn’t stop at my lack of breathing.
I had pulled her close, was about to whisper something into her ear when
I felt a subtle shift.
He was coming up the rise now,
seeing the girl in my hand, not seeing that I told her now to run, but
relishing the game all the same. For a
moment he looked confused, then he was looking giddy – a schoolboy just back
from sea.
If I pushed her, pushed hard, she
would fall back in the ravine, her head would split and only the Gods, the
remainder of the Deities would have her.
Her hand was in mine, and I was
pushing, pulling softly now.
In time he came up over the last of
the land to greet us.
-----
He came out after a while looking
truly refreshed. There had not been
whimpers, or screams, or any of the number of things I tended to hear when our own
passion really had started to flair. The
air blew freely now through the yurt, the smell of the sea somehow. He didn’t need to sing anymore, for every
square inch of him was humming.
He sat there for a long while too,
before I made out the small problems. He
smelled lightly of roses, a new scent for which I tried to take little offense
to. He had ruffled the stray locks that
had wandered to the edge of one shoulder, giving a soft nip to one lip as he
passed. I tried not to smile, or to hold
too strongly to any part of his frame, as we watched the sun rise high
together. His swaying body matched the
ripples of the tent, as we both sat for several minutes, watching the day grow
hot.
I If I looked long enough in that
tent I might just find a sarong, or a leather sandal strap perhaps that were
not mine, yet for now I could still turn off any part of me I needed. Or I might not find anything. I began humming something new, something
tangible, something hopefully that would put us at ease.
“What’s that?” he asked, clearly
disinterested. I had come up with a new
tune somehow in the night which seemed to affront his ears.
“Nothing. No worries.”
In time, he came over to hold my
hand, and after a while we left together - like a spider in the netting, we
were only shades down there below the faces.
“Oh, babe, what are you to
worry. There is nothing out here that
can hurt us.” His chiseled features
mirrored the ridge of the mountains that rose away on the farscape, behind, a
deep step that shone light on the salt plains.
I looked out to the foothills where the long wisps of figures had been
had already shifted, seeming now for all reason as Egyptian figurines carved at
the base of the lower foothills had begun to get up, had started stopping over
the small compounds on the outer edges of things.
They had started to form shapes, or
totems out there independent from the central assemblage on the plain. Their footsteps left craters, new holes that
in time would be lakes where they walked.
I looked to see if Jacob had seen, yet he had not.
Not yet.
Perhaps in time I could find
another like him, yet for now he would still do. Perhaps in time I could throw him in there
too along with his new name, new do, everything (anything).
I tried to walk him back to the
tent then, slip him sideways before any of the smoke or rain could find
him. Yet still he was over there,
talking to the crowd, never for a minute taking his eyes off of the corner
where the girl stood. The high brow
folks had started to arrive, and he was there doing his best to charm each and
every one of them.
“Ready to go?”
“Ready” I said, turning who knows
where. There were always more festivals,
more places to dance or run to. There
would always be a need for fun. I turned
my back to the mountains, and stepped back into the shade where he lay.
In time, I would learn to accept
it.
Maybe.
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